When it comes to Presidential Politics, I can never get it right. I have voted in every Presidential Election since 1984, and I have yet to vote for a winner. In fact, this year was the first year that I voted for the actual nominee in the Democratic primary. I had been winless every year prior.
In 1984, I wasn't old enough to vote in the primary, but Walter Mondale got my vote in November. In '88, Jesse Jackson took my Democratic Primary vote in Florida, but I came around and really, really wanted Dukakis to win in November. By 1992, I was convinced that the two party system was corrupt beyond repair, so when Jerry Brown, who captured my primary vote in the Virginia Primary, was no longer viable, I was seduced by the crazy Ross Perot. But the Clinton victory was still celebrated, although I would have been much happier with the destruction of the 2-party system.
In 1996, I had no real complaints with Clinton. I did think he abondoned the health care issue too swiftly, and I was suspicious about what he was up to with welfare reform, and the Newt Gingrich Republican Revolution was on his watch. So, I didn't vote in the primary, and voted for Perot again, knowing full well a Clinton re-election was imminent.
In 2000, the evils of the two-party system manifested themselves in the Bush-Gore nominations. Both Bill Bradley and John McCain were Presidential. Gore and Bush were caricature dim-wits. Yet Bush and Gore had the money and the party elite behind them, and both were able to slime their way to victory. I voted for Ralph Nadar in November, but Gore won my state, so I didn't feel guilty. I was less concerned about the person he lost to than I was the manner in which he lost. As long as I live, I will be convinced that Al Gore won Florida, and a diabolical effort by Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris stole the state for the Gov's bro. But it didn't matter, really, one douchebag beat another douchebag.
After September 11th, I was a Bush fan. He was graceful and strong, comforting and steadfast. He said and did all the right things. Until the war drums started beating, and Iraq started to come into play.
Critics claim that Paul O'Neil and Richard Clarke are crackpots, but both these men are more accomplished and honorable than most of us can ever hope to be. Their insights into the Bush White House demonstrate a clear objective to conjure up a rationale to attack Iraq, at any cost. And they exploited 9/11 to put the plan in motion. A doctrine of pre-emption is scary stuff, even if one is convinced an attack is imminent. To plunge the United States into such a doctrine using faulty and hyped intelligence (not to mention the exploitation of fear) is a complete betrayal of our national interest and our national security. We will run out of diplomatic ass cover some day soon, and an international tragedy will ensue because someone is going to pre-empt someone else, and cite our actions in March 2003.
Regardless, the point is that I was fired up, pissed off, and I felt guilty. So I volunteered to go to Boston and work the Convention. I couldn't decide on a nominee before it was all over. I liked Dean, was intrigued by Clark, thought Kucinich was principled (my vote is usually less about pragmatism and more about principle), but after Kerry romped in Iowa and New Hampshire, I had no choice. I recognized he was the establishment candidate, and somehow, despite being left for dead, he was able to rally and win, and of course I was cynical and irritated. Dean was getting done dirty. But it didn't matter. Nadar was being an insane jackass, and we had to get these assholes out of town.
So there I was. Boston was great, hope was alive. Obama! The sick Karl Rove driven bullshit with the medals and the Swift Boat ads were troubling, but hope was alive. As the tracking polls broke Kerry's way in the final days before the election, I was excited for our democracy. As I stood in the longest line I have ever stood in to vote, I was moved to tears. Moved because our country was about to move forward, we were going to reject fear and stupidity and false bravado, and pigfucker oil theives.
When Zogby predicted a Kerry win with more than 310 Electoral Votes, elation, joy. When Ohio fell 10 hours later, I was crushed, disgusted, convinced there was funny business, and somehow these cocksuckers had figured out how to steal the election again.
Then the pundits started talking about the morality vote. Where were the fucking pastors on the immorality of war? What part of the "Thou Shalt Not Kill" was being lost on these fucking morality voters? Is it a greater sin to stick your dick in another man's ass than to kill innocent Iraqi civilians under the false pretense of "self-defense"? Fuck, I said, fuck fucking this. I'm done. Take America, assholes, run it into the ground. Fuck it up beyond belief. I got mine, I make good money, my kids and family will never want. Fuck it. What can I do to exploit the situation and make it better for me? I am out, and I don't care anymore.
Two months have passed, and I'm still saddened and disgusted by what has transpired. But I'm getting over it. I am heartened by the fact that, if there is a God, on judgement day, George W. Bush will be held to account for what he did in Iraq. Even if he's right about abortion and stem cells, the same God that would say "Good on ya" for his positions on those issues will sentence him to eternal damnation for his recklessness with the death penalty in Texas and his role in the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis. I would love to see the look on his face as his sentence is explained to him, it would be more precious than his most befuddled expression during the 1st Kerry debate. Unfortunately, I'd probably have to be dead to see it, so fuck it, I'll just fantasize.
Which brings me to January 20th, 2005. I will be in downtown DC, celebrating our democracy. Since I moved here in 1990, I've never missed one, and I don't intend to miss this one, despite my unhappiness with the result. I will be there because I still love my country, and despite his flaws, and his future reservation in a dark corner of hell, I still respect and honor the position of President of the United States. Surprisingly, there will be a religious theme to my celebration this year. I will pray to the Gods of the Universe that they grant GW Bush the wisdom to carry out a diplomatic strategy that reduces tensions and truly makes the world a safer place. I will pray that our country reconnects with our generations-old allies in Europe to re-partner in the work of spreading democracy peacefully throughout the world. I will also pray that our President does right by the future senior citizens of this country, and comes up with an equitable way to fix social security. He will need help, because his tendancies are rotten but his aim, on this issue, is pure. The Democrats are wrong on this issue - by using the social security surplus to offset the deficit during the past two decades, we have created a financial calamity of biblical proportions that will come home to roost in the mid 2000's. I think privatization is kind of bullshit without addressing the hundreds of billions of lost trust funds first, but it's a start toward a solution. Finally, I will pray that Howard Dean takes control of the DNC, because he's the best anti-establishment dude we have right now. Oh yeah, and I'll also pray that John McCain runs and wins the Republican nomination in 2008. I could vote for that dude. If the Dems put up a shithole against McCain, the man has the first republican vote of my life.
And the final religious theme for my inauguration day celebration is this: I pray that i'm drunk as be-Jesus by the swearing in ceremony.
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