The Good Doctor

I am not the person to speak of his life, and death, for only Thomas Kalorama can pay the appropriate tribute on this site. However, I can't let the passing of HST go without a few words of my own.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was a book I was terrified to read, for I feared the lure and temptation of ridiculous drugs. As my collegiate classmates joyously giggled and tried to re-create hilarious experiences they read about, I saw Hunter S. Thompson as an evil miscreant hell bent on fucking up a generation. I knew drugs were evil, because I had spent a night listening to my parents arguing about who's fault it was that I was dead. I thought both were partially to blame, they both made good arguments, and I ruled a tie. After I had accepted that I was dead, I then realized I wasn't. A knock at the door, an inquiry into my health, holy shit, I'm not dead. Closed the door, holy fuck, I'm alive, and then I had to listen to the ridicule of an invisible audience laughing at me for falling for the gag. And that was only on PCP laced dope when I was 19.

So, I swore off drugs, except booze, and avoided the writings of the great Doctor. Until 7 years later, in 1992, when I read "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail". I longed for someone to cover the 1992 campaign with such verve. I desired myself to be that person, if HST wasn't up for it. But surely he was. The book would be coming. I, of course, did nothing.

In anticipation of the book I knew had to be forthcoming, I started consuming HST literature like a starved rat. Hell's Angels, yeah sure. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, I think I can handle it now. I was so jazzed for the Clinton book, I was almost insane.

Finally came Better than Sex, which was good, I still have it, I will read it again in memorium. But it was no Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail. Whether he had become lazy or marginalized is up for debate, but I suspect he became lazy and had begun to lose his edge.

Afterwards, I read "The Proud Highway", which really let you into his soul. Shortly after that I read The Rum Diaries, where he gave novel writing the good college try. I went back into time and read "The Curse of Lono" which was a wonderful mix of published articles and unpublished nonsense that made you not only long for Hawaii, but also made you deathly afraid of Somoans. But nothing, for my money, compared to Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail.

The Johnny Depp film in '98 was horrible. Depp portrayed him as a stumbling, mumbling, barely audible bum. To his devotees, he was crystal fucking clear, loud as a church bell, screaming his opinions. Yeah, I dig the drug thing, but Dr. Thompson mumbling through 2 hours ain't what fear and loathing in las vegas was all about. Shoulda figured out a way to hear his brain.

In 2000, ESPN.com announced a page 2, and HST was a featured contributor. And he did a better than decent job meeting his deadlines. I read it religiously, but I also notice that it declined in prominence. From Page 2 major headline, to Page 2 side board, to Page 2, gotta search long and hard to find it. He had lost his luster, and perhaps he had lost a forum.

I won't speculate on why he killed himself, we all have lots of potential demons, some we can never face. There are horrifying circumstances that each of us can conjure up that could drive us to the same place. Some our own doing, some are the result of fate and negligence, but we can all see a situation where the future ain't worth strugglling toward. But most of us will. We'll be strong, and endure. But we'll be tempted....

Whatever it was, the Good Doctor couldn't figure out a better deal than consciously experiencing death. Just like a gram of mescaline, twenty downers, and a bottle tequila, he injested death, and waited for its aftertaste.

Mahalo